I leave for Cabo mañana. I originally booked this trip to “escape” my break up. Yes, I realize the trip was scheduled 7 months post break up -- but I figured it’d give me something to look forward to. Now that it’s finally here, I’m excited to get away, specifically from work, to reset.
My dear friend is traveling with me tomorrow, and I couldn’t be more excited! I planned on traveling alone, but when discussing her desire to travel more over the summer, I mentioned this trip and invited her to tag along. She jumped at the opportunity and booked that same day! I couldn’t be happier that she’s joining me on this venture; I know we will have a fantastic time.
The past few weeks I’ve been pretty lost in terms of what I’m doing with my life. I wake up, go to the gym, then work, leave, get home and pass out -- and then the occasional date or two. Nothing too unique, which is why I’m struggling with my life’s “purpose.” Someone recently told me that I should pursue my “passion.” I definitely cringed when I first heard those words, but there’s truth in the statement.
I’ve been having a hard time identifying what makes me unique. In true fashion, I took to a list:
-Speak Spanish fluently
-My Italian isn’t so bad
-1st generation US American
-Lived in Spain for a semester w/ a Spanish speaking family (zero English spoken)
-Lived in Florida for 2 years as an adult
-Lived in Indiana for 4 years in college
-I’m one of 5 kids (same parents): 2 brothers, 2 sisters
-My parents are foreign (from Italy and Mexico)
-I’ve done a lot of traveling (5 of 7 continents)
-I grew up going to Italy every summer
-I’m a proud Zia of two nephews and a niece
-I have a “cool” job working in advertising on the global BP business
-I’m athletic (or used to be)
Looking at this list, I’m not so impressed. I feel like a majority of these are very “basic.” I realize that maybe that’s just my opinion, but if I’m not impressed with myself, why should I think someone else would be?
I’ve been going on a few dates with this one guy. We’ll call him “C.” He’s very dreamy and possesses a lot of invaluable qualities. He’s a smart, driven, worldly, witty, handsome, educated, calm, mild-mannered, sweet gentleman.
Now, the only “downside” to him is that he’s recently divorced, therefore not really ready to settle down. That’s ok, because I am not really ready to jump into a relationship either, but would like to know if he’s open to exploring where this is headed. I think he likes me, because why else would he have hung out with me 6x in the past 5 weeks, right? Although, he did confirm that he was going on other dates (he has one tonight, actually). I can’t be upset; I don’t “own” him. If anything, I appreciate his honesty, but I’d be lying if I told you I hope he has a nice time tonight. I hope he has a LAME time (there, I said it!).
That’s why this trip is coming at the perfect time. It will allow for me to take a step back and refocus on my priorities – which knowingly is me. As mentioned previously, I don’t feel so great about myself. I want to make a change. But what’s so different now about me saying that than when I’ve said it before? Nothing! I’m hoping my trip grants me the peace and tranquility needed to really examine how to take back my life.
Wish me luck for the next 6 days! I’ll be doing a lot of self-discovery!